Once upon a time there was 6 little blue bird called Michaela, sam, alexis, addyson, bella and Hannah and all of the little blue bird was fighting on the rope and when all the little blue bird turn there head around they saw a big bird and the big bird wave to them and all of the little bird was super confused. Then the little blue bird done a funny face to the other little bird and the two little bird was laughing then there were starting 4 little bird laughing and doing the funny face’s the 4 little blue bird was looking at the big bird and the 4 bird was angry and the bird was walking away from the big bird.
The little blue bird was talking about the big bird then the big bird came and sit by them on the rope and like all of the little blue bird was super super mad the big bird was too heavy for the rope so all of the bird was leaning on each other so the two bird hurt the big bird and the big bird was hanging upside down and the big bird couldn’t hold on so the big bird falling off of the rope and the little bird was scared and the little bird was hurting the big bird again with them beak and then the big bird fall off the rope and the big bird fall on his face. There were heaps of Feather. And on of the little bird had no feather and all of the rest of the little blue bird they had no feather at all
The end
Hi Michaela I like your writing it is really intresding
ReplyDeleteHi Michaela I like your juicy words eg super confused. The title could be bigger. I like how you used paragraphs, because its easier to read.
ReplyDeleteHi Micheala I really enjoyed your story. but I ran out of breath so next time you can add some more commas , and full stops . and your story was also intresting and it got me hooked.
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DeleteHi Shania, it Michaela,here thanks for commenting to my blog. next time when I write another story I will put commas and full stops. But keep up the blog comment tho.
DeleteHi Micheala,
ReplyDeleteI read your story and I like it. But there is a problem in your story at the start were it says once upon a time there was 6 little blue bird. You forgot the s at the end of bird. Maybe you could fix that. You don't have any full stops. I all most fainted. So next time add full stops. I enjoyed reading it.
Hi, I really like your writing. I watched the video that you based it on and you did a good job with making it like the video. other then a few spelling mistakes it is amazing.
ReplyDeleteHello Michaela!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good blog post! I really like this story about the 6 little blue birds. Next time you should put full stop's where they should be. And you should put, for the names, you should put capital letters. You should put where the blue bird say, you should put an s there. You should put more full stops where they should be, in the second paragraph, there is only 2 full stops overall. But other than that, you're good! <3
Hi Shania, thank you for commenting on my blog. I like how you said In the comment box I really enjoyed your story .You should look at my other writing Ormie, because it is really funny to read. Next time I will put commas and full stops in my story.
ReplyDelete